How to Fight Depression and Win
There is one problem that is killing the world right now and it is the glorification of problems. For example, the climate change thing. If the same amount of energy and activity that has been poured into the awareness of the problem has been poured into a tangible solution, the world would have made significant progress. But nah, people want to analyze the problem, they want to blame something and someone. It seems obvious to me that if advancement in technology amplified the problem, then further advancement should cushion it. I find it amazing that the solution that is most lauded around the world is to take backward steps in the areas of tech. And it is clear; nobody really wants to do that.
I started a blog a while ago to express a psychological solution for mental health challenges. What I found out at the end was amazing. Many of those who have these problems don’t want a solution, they want to be recognized with their problem and treated specially because of it. I deleted the blog because it was useless. Why try to help people who don’t want to be helped? I read an article of one patient where she said she left a doctor because the doctor was trying to make her well. Went to another doctor who was making her feel like her problem was a superhuman ability and of course, she loved it. I was stunned.
I remember a story of a woman who became an invalid and loved one left her life behind to take care of the sick woman. The caretaker worked all her life to care for the sick woman. One day, the caretaker slumped and died (out of overwork). The next day the invalid woman got up from her bed and started to make things for herself because there’s nobody to help her anymore. You would be surprised the conditions people descend into just because of the craving for attention.
I never took the issue of depression seriously. Even though as a kid I was quiet and gentle, I had no stray into those areas. I lived with my parents in a small town and knew nothing of the outside world. Life was simple, life was good. Growing older I saw the scams of life; the expectations and the unintended results but I was unmoved because I grasped the essence of life early. Into adulthood, I was not surprised because I had prepared my mind well for it. I did not expect things to go straight, so when they didn’t I had no problems with it. Of course, those around me will talk that talk, but I have learnt to respond with the same level of alacrity and counter arguments.
Shortly after school was over, a friend was without a job after 2 months. She told me she was beginning to slip into depression. I couldn’t understand it! Depression, how? Just two months, no job and you’re depressed? What if it was 2 years and you already have kids? It’s what we have been fed through school and life; after school, you get a job, you earn money and enjoy life. I knew that was a lie since my first year in the university. I never let those lies get to me. I found out about the real lives of people and discovered it was everything but a straight line. So, I couldn’t be depressed.
When I share my thoughts with people, they think ‘well, you don’t know much’, ‘you don’t have real life experience’. I just chuckle and move on because I have found out not everybody is willing to be helped.
You go ask a crippled man; do you want to walk again or you want a million dollars? Except the cripple is already wealthy, you know the answer majority of crippled people will give you
Life is for problems. Problems of life are not peculiar to you. Everybody has their own fair share of it. Some hide it, some make a noise of it, some put make-up on it, others are trying to solve it the best way they know how. Never wish you could trade places with someone because you think that life would be easier. Many people have plunged themselves into further sorrow by looking for a problem-free life. The search of a problem-free life will lead you into the grandest problem of all. Just because the world around you is faking it and pretending doesn’t mean everybody is doing fine except you. In real life, those who are doing fine are those who enjoy the process of solving the problems they have taken up.
Depression is always triggered by comparison. It could be directly, and could be indirectly. It could be self-inflicted and it could be from the direct influence of someone or something. For example, a person can be depressed for not having an iPhone because every of his peers have. Meanwhile in the 1980s, the lack of an iPhone made nobody depressed because there was no iPhone! And the way the world is progressing, we would keep having things, items and gadgets that will distinguish people based on the money they have. So if that gets to you today, it will only be worse in the future.
I get surprised when people raise the idea of a form of socialism to get rid of the problems. It just speaks the narrow-mindedness of many. This is a thing of the mind, you think “fixing” the societal structure will fix the state of people’s minds? It won’t! It will only get worse. The right approach is to fix the minds the knowledge way.
Those who live the best of life do not live for themselves. They live beyond themselves. They live to solve other people’s problems. I have never seen someone who has an heartfelt duty to solve other people’s problems and focuses on it with all sense of sincerity and fire ever get depressed. I have never seen someone who knows his purpose in this world (and who is engaged in the purpose) ever depressed. Also, I have never seen someone who takes his sense of purpose and life from his environment, who is never depressed. I have never seen someone who “keeps up with the Joneses” who doesn’t get depressed. I have never seen someone who likes to keep up with peers, outdo others, out-dress others, who doesn’t get depressed.
The thought and feeling comes to everybody, but while some willingly accept it and allow it to rule their minds, some forcefully reject that stupid thought and feeling because of the enlightenment they have about life. Life is not a race. Another person’s progress doesn’t signify that you are failing. Everybody has battles to fight. Everyone has a Goliath. Some get their Goliaths very early in life, some get it in their teens, some have it in the mid years, others at full bloom adulthood. It’s the one thing everybody in the world have in common. Feeling sorry for yourself because of yours is just plain foolishness.
So, what is the solution to the thought and feeling? How does one makes the thought and feeling have zero effect on one’s life? It’s very simple; you fight it. For you to be able to fight it, you must not want it. For you not to want it, you must not have a justification for it. For you not to have a justification for it, you must not get the comparison mentality out of your head. The TV life is one big lie. Don’t even try to wrap your thinking around the reality of TV. Did I mention social media too? Make-up and a good camera doesn’t equal a good life. In fact, many times people work extra hard at that stuff because they are trying to cover up something. If people love their life and their bodies (which is headed by their face) that much, why do they “make it up” to look like what they actually don’t look like? Never be deceived.
The way to fight depression is by actions. I know the tendencies are strong in the present reality of the society. The only way to face it and win is to fight. To fight is to act in direct opposition to the thought and feeling. If you are feeling depressed because of your finances, pay for something for someone. It doesn’t matter how small. Find someone who can be appreciative of small things and do it. For example, buy lunch for a hungry beggar and watch the beggar eat it. It’s even more satisfying if you do it anonymously. If you live in a place where you can’t do anything for anybody that the person would appreciate, you need to relocate quickly.
Find people you can solve their problems and do it when those feelings come at you. Be creative about it and do it in a special way each time.
If the feeling and thought is about you being lonely and have nobody, pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t spoken to in years. Cheer someone up! The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up. Whatever the depressed thought or feeling brings to you, give something of the same form to someone. You fight lack with giving. Giving is the master key to life. You can donate and your life remains the same but you can’t give and your life remains the same. The difference between giving and donating is that you can afford to lose what you donate, but what you give means something to you but you have decided to look beyond it.
Giving is the solution to depression
I have never met a giver who gets depressed. However, I have seen myriads of donors who get depressed. If what used to be giving to you has become donating, then it means you need to step up. Your life depends on it. Give your way out of depression.
I rest my case
This is little break from tech, crypto, productivity, investing. It’s life though. I hope you don’t mind